One of the best things about learning a trade is the opportunity it provides you to bombard your friends with semi-accurate information couched in jargon. If you are able to adopt the pose that all this information is for their own good somehow, even better. I am not insane enough to suggest that there is any useful information on this page, but it does provide plenty of room for me to complain about minor inaccuracies about locks in movies and on TV (and to praise them when they get it right). So there.

One more thing: You know all those books and movies and TV shows where the power goes out and all the electrically-locked doors in the prison or mental hospital swing open to unleash a wave of violence? Well, it can't freaking happen. Electrical locks are either "fail-safe" or "fail-secure." Fail-safe locks are designed to open (or remain open) when power fails. Fail-secure locks, such as those used in prisons, are designed to remain locked when the lights go out (in fact, power is required to unlock them, though they typically have a key-override to open them in an emergency). So let's have no more of that.


We all agree that Jennifer Garner is a hottie, and Alias is pretty entertaining most of the time. Now that Sydney has a sultry Argentine half-sister to slink around with, it's even better. But in Détente (season 4, episode 7), they have to surreptitiously open a safe, and are presented with a "complete set of safe-cracking tools" by Marshall, the spy-gadget maker. The tools? A set of lock picks, great for opening doors, but no use whatsoever in opening a safe with a combination lock. This was especially annoying, as it would have been completely acceptable to provide them with some wholly made-up bit of technology. This is Alias, after all.


Le Cercle Rouge is a very French sort of heist movie, with great lashings of pseudo-philosophical twaddle about guilt and redemption surrounding a thin, if durable, story about a jewelry store burglary. Alain Delon, as Corey, the thief at the center of the plot, is just too cool with his trenchcoat, Gaulloises, and late-60s Plymouth. The break-in sequence is generally plausible, with information from a former employee, a reconaissance, and entry from a neighboring building, all very typical of how burglaries happen.

Unfortunately, the effect is spoiled by a bit of showmanship that has no doubt irritated all of the many locksmiths who are also fans of French New Wave cinema: the store's alarm system must be disabled by the burglars before they can begin to loot, the alarm is switched on and off using a special key, and the keyway is inaccessible, protected by motion detectors and a barred steel gate. So they enlist an ex-cop (a hallucinating drunkard and crack shot) to shoot the keyway with a special bullet formulated of "lead, antimony, tin" and hooey, which is supposed to "fuse the tumblers" and thus disable the alarm. "Fuse the tumblers"? It is the ability of the tumblers to move in response to the cuts in the key that allows the lock to turn. This is a classic example of a lazy film-maker taking advantage of audience ignorance about how a pin-tumbler lock functions. Shame on you, Monsieur Melville.


Die Hard With A Vengeance was easily the best of the three Die Hard movies. I'm not sure why; it was just as silly and overblown as the other two, but I suspect it had to do with Samuel Jackson's presence. What it lacked, however, was the assistance of a qualified locksmith. In the sequence where the massive bomb is discovered in the basement of the grade school, three children hiding from the police are inadvertently locked in a classroom, trapping them there. This could never happen, particularly in a city like New York, with its strictly-enforced set of life-safety codes. Unless someone is in a detention setting, such as a prison or mental hospital, they must be able to exit any space, whether or not it is locked from the outside. The knobsets installed on the classroom doors would have been so-called "Classroom Function" locks, which would have allowed the children to simply turn the knob and exit.


Coming soon: Rififi


I don't really have a good excuse for enjoying Resident Evil. Even by my standards it's a pretty dumb movie, despite such high points as the inside-out dobermans. Anyway, while I am prepared to believe every single word of the faux-scientific babble about genetic modification, I will not sit still and let them make a mockery of electronic access-control devices. Dammit, the madness has to stop somewhere. At the very end of the movie, as the film-makers tried to distract sharp-eyed locksmiths by clothing Milla Jovovich in a pair of napkins, she escapes from some sort of medical research facility by sticking a needle into an electronic card reader and wiggling it around. Take my word for it: this won't work, ever. It won't fool the access-control system, which is designed to read the magnetic strip or computer chip on a genuine badge; and simply shorting out the card reader will accomplish nothing, as the electronic lock holding the door shut has its own power supply, and is fail-secure anyway. Bah.


Thief is one of the all-time great heist movies, and one of my favorite movies of any genre. This is not to say it is flawless, from the perspective of either a locksmith or movie buff, but it has a lot going for it. Robert Prosky is terrifying as a genial, paternal, sociopathic crime boss, and there is a great ensemble of sleazy, crooked cops, hardened criminals, and meticulous, knowledgable thieves. The director, Michael Mann, employed some genuine retired thieves as technical advisors, and their expertise shows, particularly in the central heist of the movie. James Caan and his crew use "burn bars" to cut through a massive vault door, after a long surveillance, and some assistance from an inside source. This is a fascinating and highly realistic set piece, which easily makes up for some sketchier details elsewhere in the movie. For instance, in the film's first heist, James Caan drills through a safe door, then uses a cold chisel to dislodge the wheelpack. This can work, but usually won't -- most safes, especially those used to hold jewels, have a relocking device, designed to foil attacks on the wheelpack. Typically, a skilled thief will drill a hole in the vault door, and use a scope of some kind to watch the movement of the gate as he dials. It can be tedious, but it works. Then, later in the movie, when breaking into someone's house, Caan's character bypasses a Schlage F-series key-in-knob lock by inserting a metal shim through the door frame, then turning the knob. Whatever he was supposed to be doing, it wouldn't retract the latch; I would have preferred to see Caan pick the lock, certainly within the skill set of such an experienced thief.


Friends? Yes, Friends. In the episode called something like "The One With the Blackout," or maybe it was "The One With the Night of Rage," Chandler is using an ATM in a bank lobby when, yes, the power goes out, locking him in in the company of a beautiful woman that he has a deep, heartfelt, conversation with, etc., etc. Of course, access in to bank lobby ATMs is controlled by an electronic lock opened by inserting an ATM card, which is mostly intended to deter the homeless from sleeping in the safe, heated space. But, as we've learned from critiques of films like Die Hard With A Vengeance, life-safety codes require that unless someone is a prisoner, they must be able to exit a locked space. This is why, as I am sure you all have noticed, on the inside of doors to ATMs there is a mechanical paddle to push in order to exit; no electricity required.